datingindc

Have you ever dated someone that even after you broke up you thought in the back of your head that you may eventually end up together? And that you could get use to the things that were deal breakers to you before since you were young and naive then and have grown older and wiser? I dated someone when I was 27 who was 17 years my senior and a partner at one of the large law firms in town that I was completely head over heels for who I really liked in spite of the age difference.  I just had that feeling which I have only had once where I just felt like I could see myself with this guy for the rest of my life.  Perhaps I was just on smack at the time.  We proceeded to break up fairly shortly after we dated.  I forget whether it was two or three months and he did it in such a way that was kind of ironic given his age and occupation in life.  He just stopped calling me.  I personally think that is so wrong if you have spent a fairly significant time together and have been intimate with someone.  At least tell them in some form or fashion–just don’t stop calling them back and drop off the face of the earth.  I know I wasn’t the nicest person either and the deal breaker was the fact that he worked so much and never had enough time to spend together.  And there was one occasion where I asked him to go to a Christmas party with me and he spent most of the time talking to someone else (who was closer to his age) and then insisted on staying the whole entire time.  Granted the folks had interesting stories but I had just wanted to make an appearance and then go somewhere else and spend some quality time with him.  He then proceeded to drive me home and he drove like a maniac and kept complaining how he had so much to do and so little time.  This was the only time I had with him and he was sick on top of that and said that he was so busy he didn’t have time to go to the drug store to pick up medicine.  There are 24 hour drug stores!!! We proceeded to stay in and out of touch over the past couple of years and somewhere in the back of my head he was always the bachelor and he was in essence my back up guy.  I know there were many MANY problems with our relationship but it was an interesting non the less and we kept getting drawn back together for whatever reason.  Primarily through email and text messaging which in my head is not a primary form of communication.  I know I started contact again whenever I was bored or needed a pick me up which he did provide in certain situations–I went out with him after another guy I was dating started going out with one of my co-workers at a former job.  He listened to me bitch about the guy I dated who I found out later ended up being married.  But he never once said anything about his love life and I never asked and I probably knew he was dating but I just chose not to think about it.  He would always for whatever reason think of me and then send me random text messages that were very strange that I never got like the moon is shining brightly up in the sky which I primarily chose to ignore and or respond back with something equally nonsensical.  But seriously? What is the purpose of that? And then he would text message at odd hours of the day too like way early AM which I translated into drunk text messages.  When I called him on it he always went back into no contact zone and once he even tried to say that he didn’t send it at that time and that it just got to me then.  Yeah maybe once or twice but not consistently.  He drunken text messaged me after St. Patty’s day last year I believe and a number of times before that.  One of the last times we “hooked up” was 2 years ago in December and he proceeded to indicate that he enjoyed it and made it seem like he wanted to continue the relationship which I responded and made it clear that I wanted a real relationship and that I wanted a boyfriend and not a hook up so didn’t hear from him from a long while.  This last time he text messaged and emailed me that he was out with Mark at dinner and it was a beautiful day I just had it and sent him back something like was there a purpose for your text message? Are you inviting me to have drinks with you and Mark because otherwise I don’t understand why you are text messaging me.  Translation– why the f**k to I care? He apologized and I have not heard from him since.  This is also after sending him an email message basically saying the next time you feel the need to randomly text message me something like that DO NOT.  I don’t understand who you are and what you want from me but if you truly want to be my friend then you need to act like it which you do not or otherwise take a hike.

The other day my friend found his wedding announcement in the New York Times.  He got married earlier this month.  Who knows how long he has been engaged but he didn’t manage to mention that during our last email exchange at the end of March.  If you were engaged (which he probably was) why was he drunken text messaging me less than four months ago?? Are there no other people you can text message regarding sports events? I was slightly shocked I guess to find out he had tied the knot because I thought he’s almost 50–if he is getting married he surely would have done so by now so I always thought he would be the life long bachelor.  I don’t know the woman but she’s 12 years his junior and is deputy general counsel at one of the government agencies.  Who knows what their deal is and one wishes them the best of luck but seriously I don’t understand men! But after some reflection there were many things that I didn’t like about him and reasons why we probably did not end up walking down that road and I am thankful.  I want someone to grow old with together and I don’t want to end up taking care of someone else.  I guess that is one reason why I liked D so much–he was closer to my age and more along what I think of when I picture someone I want to spend significant time with.  And open to doing things that I wanted to do that someone who is 17 years older might not want to do.  There is some truth to that saying you can’t teach old dogs new tricks.

My favorite saying is still if you love something let it go.  If it comes back to you then you’ve always had it and if doesn’t you never had it to begin with.  Well, apparently in this story my Mr. Big and I do not end up getting married and living happily ever after.  I guess the ending to this story has yet to be written!

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